Life · Uncategorized

Disappointment and Gratitude – Two Sides Of The Same Coin

When I started my blog in September last year, the purpose was to be real and speak about things that people today are too afraid to say. I wanted to write posts based on real life experiences knowing someone out there – even if it was just ONE person – could relate to the message. I wanted to write about life, the happy and the sad, the good and the bad and how it all ties together.

I write about whatever occupies my mind at the time. It can be something I saw in a magazine, a place we visited that I loved or an experience that brought me joy or broke my heart. And hopefully someone out there in the big bad world could relate to it. Hopefully someone out there was comforted, or got excited or the message resonated well with them.

My blog is still in its infant stages – compared to some very successful bloggers out there, my blog is one small fish in an ocean of big sharks. But all good things start small, don’t they? Even the tree outside my window started out as a small seed, and look at it now! I hope someday, my blog will have a greater influence than it has now, because I believe someone out there needs to hear what I have to say.

At the beginning of the year, one of my goals for 2017 was to promote my blog. I decided to put fear aside and invite my Facebook Friends to follow my blog so that my messages could reach a greater audience. Although I have a fair number of Facebook Friends, not all of them accepted the invitation so that idea didn’t work as well as I expected. I then had another idea, one I thought was a sure thing. To my shock and huge disappointment, that too didn’t work out well either. I started trying to figure out what I did wrong, what I should have done better – I was having a real pity party – the one that makes you feel awesome while you having it but feel so much worse when you snap out of it !

Honestly, the disappointment sucked. I felt hurt and that I had failed at a part of my life that means so much to me. I was so taken aback that I even went as far as saying that I was going to write one final article and call it a day. After all, if people were not interested in what I had to say, there really wasn’t a purpose for it then, isn’t it? I was feeling all sorry for myself and I wanted to give up.

Then it dawned on me. Why was I so quick to draw conclusions to this circumstance that I had no evidence of? Why was I focussing on the negative of the situation? Why was I fixating on what went wrong? I started questioning my thoughts. I started questioning my disappointment. You see, even though my idea didn’t reap the benefits that I had expected, I did reap benefits, but in other ways. I realised that there was so much to be grateful for. There is the experience I gained in putting myself out there on social media which scared the hell out of me. There were meaningful life lessons I learnt that I will forever be grateful for, like acknowledging that what is important to you may not be important to the next person, and that is perfectly okay.  I also got to make someone very happy in the process, which means I got to bless someone. I made someone out there smile.  I also gained some new followers, no matter how small, they were still wins nonetheless. This means my messages are reaching more people and hopefully inspiring and helping to shape their futures.

And then I knew why I didn’t want to stop my blog. I knew that I didn’t want to stop bringing inspiration, motivation, or clarity to someone out there, who may just at that given moment, need to read what I have to say. You see what you create in the world is not for anyone else, but you. And if you manage to help someone in the process, well that’s just the cherry on the cake.

The lesson I learnt from my little experiment, was that disappointment and gratitude really is two sides of the same coin. Think about this for a minute. You really cannot be grateful for anything without having known the taste of disappointment. You need to know darkness to appreciate the light. You need to know sorrow to fully embrace happiness. You can only appreciate the good when you have known the bad….

God really does work in mysterious ways. If there is a lesson you need to learn, rest assured that you will learn it no matter how odd the circumstances may seem. It turns out that, in the midst of my disappointment, I was focussing my attention and energy on all the wrong things, when in actual fact, all I needed to do, was take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. Once I consciously decided to change the way I was seeing the situation, the disguised blessings revealed themselves.  I know now that no matter how much we want things to progress, it will take its divine time and you must be comfortable with the pace. You also cannot rush things – if it is meant to be, it will be, but in His time not yours. It is in the journey not the destination that the sweetness is found. For instance, going on a road trip to a beautiful destination – you don’t ignore the beauty en-route, but rather you stop and capture the memories – you find the sweetness in the journey.

So, some advice to myself and whoever needs to hear this. The next time you are faced with a disappointment, flip the coin and see what there is to be grateful for. I guarantee you, there is always something to be grateful for. It may take a little longer to see it, but it is there. My experiment may not have unfolded the way I had expected it to, but my gains far outweighed my losses.  It just depends on the lens you looking through.

To my fellow Sparkle Lasses – I want to say THANK YOU for the support and helping me achieve my dreams xxx

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King Jnr




7 thoughts on “Disappointment and Gratitude – Two Sides Of The Same Coin

  1. Lesson to self….when you have the ability to make a positive influence on somebody’s life, take the 2 minutes out and do it immediately. One does not realise the impact of fulfilling a request. It would have probably taken a minute or 2 to enter the competition and now I am ever so sorry that I didn’t. Don’t be disappointed…..there could be more of your fans out there who are willing to redeem themselves xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was just what I needed to hear today..I too am battling to take that first step pursuing my passion. But hearing your experiences and what you felt at the time of starting thiss blog of yours, makes me realise that its normal for me to have all these doubts, but that starting somewhere is the best way to start. So thank you Carmen, reading this blog has touched me in so many ways. Don’t stop what you’re doing…you have touched one life today. Who knows how many you will touch tomorrow..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Avril, I’m glad that this resonated with you. My advice….take a leap of faith and know that God has your back. Our passions were given to us because we have a an assignment here on earth. Please take the first step, you wil be so happy you did xxx


  3. Content is king, engagement is queen. Pay it forward by reading and commenting on other new bloggers.

    About FB – I have a ‘fan page’ for my blog – because I have a few readers who prefer that. And I share my blog posts on my personal page. Some prefer an email sub. Or Bloglovin. And I prefer Feedly!


  4. I can 100% relate to what you’re feeling. I felt exactly the same in the beginning. Blogging can be a rollercoster ride of emotions. After 2 years of ‘being in the game’ I’m only just starting to find my feet and learning to enjoy the process. Everyone’s journey is different and everyone makes their impact in their own way. Don’t give up.

    Liked by 1 person

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