The definition of trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. When people speak of trust it is usually about their trust in other people or the lack thereof. People in general are usually quite open to trusting others. It’s like a free pass given to someone until they do something bad and the pass is revoked. The other person has either done something to hurt you or their behaviour was undesirable and no longer worthy of your trust.
I have personally had experiences where I have given my trust to certain people because they led me to believe that they were trustworthy. I confided in a work colleague about a very personal matter only because she had been through the same experience, so I naturally thought that she would know how confidential it was and that I was only sharing it with her because she could relate to my experience and my feelings. It wasn’t long after that, that I discovered the entire office knew my business and when I spoke to other people they seem to know intimate details and information I knew I had only shared with her.
Besides feeling angry, I felt so betrayed and hurt. I couldn’t believe that even after I had very diplomatically asked her to keep our conversation between us, she still betrayed me and spoke about my personal matter like it was the next trending topic on the evening news. I thought about how I could get revenge, but I couldn’t come up with any ways that wouldn’t land me in trouble, so I canned that idea. I thought about confronting her, but what good was that going to do. The deed was done. The damage was done. Me confronting her wasn’t going to change the fact that other people now knew my business. So I decided that I would distance myself as much as possible from this colleague and only discuss work related matters with her and nothing else.
But honestly, even though I felt hurt and betrayed and angry with her, I was angrier at myself. Because when I met this person, something inside of me told me to be careful. Something said there is something off here. There is something not quite right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I kept my distance for a while. But then she revealed that she was facing this challenge in her life. The same challenge I was facing. I thought that maybe it was God sent. A confidante. Someone I could share this painful matter with. Someone who had walked in similar shoes. Someone who knows exactly how I was feeling having gone through it herself. Someone I could trust. So I ignored those feelings and let her into my circle of trust.
That something inside of me that kept warning me to be careful, was my Intuition. My gut feeling. And that is God sent. Your intuition is your sixth sense. It is given to us as our own personal advisor. Your own personal body guard. Its purpose is to warn you when things don’t look right and it tries to let you know that you should tread with caution.
Thinking back now, all the times I have felt betrayed by others was when I ignored my gut feeling. When I chose to trust in this person instead of trusting in myself. But why is it so hard for us to trust ourselves? Why is it so easy to just disregard your own feelings that something isn’t quite right? The only thing we know for sure is that by doing this only leads to pain and anger and feeling that you have been let down, by this person and by yourself.
When you are not feeling well, you go to the doctor. You tell him or her what is wrong and after the examination is done, the diagnosis is given. So why do we trust ourselves to know what is physically wrong with us, but we don’t trust ourselves when out intuition tells us something is wrong with a particular situation or a particular person?
I have come to the conclusion that the only person you can trust without a shadow of a doubt, is Yourself. Before you let anyone in. Before you let your guard down. No matter how trustworthy this person may seem. Ask yourself what is your intuition telling you. And, I am willing to bet that in 9 out of 10 times, what your gut tells you is right on the money.
So next time you get that feeling. That feeling that you should turn around and not walk down that dark alley. That feeling that this deal is too good to be true. That feeling that something is offish with this situation. Trust that feeling and walk away. You will thank yourself later for trusting the only person who knows what’s best for you and your life, and that person is YOU!
“Intuition is always right in at least two important ways. It is always in response to something. It always has your best interest at heart” – ― Gavin de Becker